People have wrestled with the ethics of erotic life since antiquity. Though the tension between desire and conscience is as old as humanity, there’s nothing dated about the way people are trying to navigate the complex landscape of connection. With Valentine’s Day loomingrainha666, I invited readers to submit sex-related questions. Some of the letters I got made me smile; some broke my heart. All of them reminded me of what’s been apparent since Plato’s day: Questions about sex are always questions about being human.

So, this week, we have a special series from The Ethicist, answering readers’ thorniest questions about sex and love as part of a Magazine issue about relationships. Here’s the first set of questions. Look out for more at the bottom of this article, and sign up for my newsletter here.

7723bet

I am a healthy, physically fit woman in my late 50s, married for more than two decades. My marriage remains fun, engaging, compassionate and passionate; we still have a very active sex life. Our children are grown and thriving. While my husband has been unfaithful a few times over the years (many years ago now), I chose forgiveness and relationship work. I have, however, developed a menopausal sex drive that has increased rather than withered — and a rather deep desire to experience sex with one other man before I die or get too old.

This man would have to be someone I don’t know and will never see again. I have researched a plan as follows: 1) Fly to a major coastal city; 2) Hire an escort from a reputable service and have sex with him in a nice hotel; 3) Fly home and get an S.T.I. screen (although I’d obviously have practiced safe sex). I have never been unfaithful to my husband. In fact, I had sex with only two other men before I met him. This desire is definitely not the result of latent hostility for his long-ago indiscretions (I’ve thought it through for several years now), and, according to my husband, I do have two opportunities to even the score with impunity. Nevertheless, I don’t want him to know because I don’t want to hurt him, and it would. I travel frequently, so this trip wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. To be clear, I’m not interested in an open marriage,66cassino polyamory or anything along those lines, nor would I use a dating or ‘‘hookup’’ app. Escorts from services whose prices are in the $1,500 range are well vetted, and I don’t feel I’d be sexually exploiting a 35-year-old, willing, well-paid man. What do you think? — Name Withheld

From the Ethicist:

I won’t quibble with your statements of fact or your careful plans. Participants in this slightly niche trade are, to judge from the scholarly literature (not to mention first-person Reddit posts), typically doing what they’re doing for the normal reason people do jobs: They’ve concluded that they can make a decent living this way and they prefer it to other occupations for which they are qualified. There are exceptions, but coercion and exploitation don’t seem to be at the heart of the services you have in mind. Let’s stipulate, further, that you’re able to avoid contracting and sharing any S.T.I.s. from the encounter. (The right precautions would reduce the risks substantially — though, I should point out, not to zero.)

We are having trouble retrieving the article content.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.

“A few months ago, we were still in the space of American exceptionalism,” said Katharine Neiss, an economist at PGIM Fixed Income, an asset manager. There was the expectation that the resilience of the U.S. economy would lead to higher rates for longer, she said. “That was creating a lot of stresses and strains for the rest of the world,” she added.

It often takes the market a day or two to determine its path after a big event like the Fed decision, and stocks had wobbled in the immediate aftermath of the rate cut Wednesday afternoon before optimism took hold in the markets overnight.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access.

Already a subscriber? Log in.

Want all of The Times? Subscribe.rainha666